The Dogg and I

Well, internet, I have walked through fire and come out unscathed. That's right, last night was the much-anticipated Snoop Dogg concert, and, with the moral support of my best friend and fellow concert buddy, I went to Pozo to see my phobia face-to-face.

This has been my cell wallpaper for the last three weeks to get me pumped for Snoop.

Well, I saw his face. There was quite a crowd between us because I have ear problems and couldn't get too close to the speakers, so I seriously doubt that the Doggfather saw my face, but still, I was there. And the party was bumpin'.

Never mind that it was already a star-studded affair. Not counting Snoop Dogg, we also saw Rebelution, a raggae band from Santa Barbara; and the legendary Ron Jeremy showed up to watch the show too.

Both Ron Jeremy and Doggy Dogg are freaks, after all.

But porn stars and semi-local bands were not what I had come to see. I had come to see the one and only Snoop Doggy Dogg. Although the show was set to start at 4 o'clock, he didn't come onstage until 7:48 (I checked my phone) but when he did, it was electric. To my great fortune, he did not command me to murder my mother, as I had feared. Furthermore, I discovered that his voice was far less hypnotic when drowned out by booming bass.

Instead, I hopped around to Gin and Juice, wiggled my butt to that one song he does with Akon, and sang along with Sexual Eruption.

I left the show with a much greater appreciation of Snoop and his music (also, probably a contact high). Snoop as a person is not afraid to pose the important questions, like when he asked "all the sexy ladies" if they'd ever had an orgasm, before explaining that he wanted to give us one through song by singing Sexual Eruption.

Finally, he didn't want anyone to go home without a little gem of his Snoop-wisdom, and shared with us the three things you should always do when you first get up. I thought I would share them with you. So, courtesy of Snoop Doggy Dogg, the three things you should always do when you first wake up:

1. Brush your teeth.
2. Thank God that you made it to see another day.
3. Smoke some mother-f**king weed.

Just like Snoop would do.