Oh, Spam.

It struck me as rather sad that, upon logging into my e-mail for the third time today, the only messages I had received were facebook notifications from people I hardly talk to and a desperate plea for help from some lady from my church who evidently got mugged at gunpoint while in the UK. I deleted the facebook stuff, but kept the email because, really, it was too good to pass up.

Hello

How are you doing? we had a visit to London (United Kingdom) unannounced some days back, Unfortunately we got mugged at gun point last two nights. All cash, Credit card and cellphones were stolen,It was so traumatic;Thank God we have our life and passport saved,we have been to the embassy they are not 100% helpful so i concluded that returning back home will be the best option.we also have limited means of getting out of here,as we have canceled our cards So i won’t get a new card till i get back home.I really need your support & assistance as my flight leaves in few hours,but i have problems checking out of the Hotel,as i need to sort out some bills, Wondering if you could loan me some bucks to sort out the hotel bills and also take a cab to the airport.this is the number to the hotel +(SECRET)
i wait to hear from you

Kind Regards
(NAME KEPT SECRET FOR PRIVACY)

This message has a few aspects that make it endearing to me:

• First, the sender seems interested in my well-being, even though he or she can't seem to remember my name, and more importantly, HAS BEEN MUGGED. It's not even until the third sentence that a mugging comes into the picture. (Or is it the second sentence? The punctuation and flying majuscules confuse me.)
• More perplexing than the courteous nature of the e-mail, however, is the "unannounced" visit to London (which is in the United Kingdom, if you were too stupid to know). Now, I live on the West Coast of North America, so going to England? Not the most practical thing to do. Most of the people who go to England plan it months in advance and brag about it until you have to stuff cotton into your ears to keep them from bleeding.
• The best part though, is the use of the word "bucks." Subtle clues tipped me off to the fact that this was not an English-speaker writing, like the occasionally dropped article. But an entire email to say "I've been mugged! Lend me a few bucks, pal!" was just overwhelming.