My BEST Jersey Shore idea EVER.

The following is an actual letter that I would email to MTV, if they had any contact info. Instead, I'll put it up here. Maybe someone from MTV will come across it. Then again, probably not. Still, at least it's up here for your benefit:

Dear MTV,

I love your show Jersey Shore. I love it more than may be decent, because I am the stereotypical bookish, took-AP-classes-in-high-school, makes-it-on-the-Dean's-list college nerd, and when I quote Snooki, my friends give me weird, uncomprehending looks. Nevertheless, I am in love with your show. Which is why I was so excited when they announced that there would be a second season.

What's not to love, really?

But here's the thing, MTV: you can't just content yourselves to moving the location. I mean, sure, you're sending the Situation to Miami, but there's only so long the nation can avidly watch fist-pumping and drunken hijinks before it gets a little stale. Which is why you need to add another element. Something completely unexpected, something completely insane (and no, the rumored new cast member is NOT GOOD ENOUGH).

You need non-guidos. You need nerds or dorks or sweet Catholic girls. I don't care, just something very unexpected, and then you need to assign them a guido/guidette mentor, kind of the way the cast guido'd Michael Cera. I want to watch what happens as Snooki tries to turn sweet little Peggy Jane into a miniature version of her Snooki-self (if it is possible to be smaller than Snooki).

Without the pouf, she barely makes it to JWOWW's boobs...

Think about it. Jersey Shore was a hit in the first place because of its novelty. Imagine if you took the novelty of those guidos and put it side-by-side with some very un-guido people who want to be guidofied. IT'S BRILLIANT.

I would be a great candidate. A California girl who likes proper grammar and the occasional Mike's Hard Lemonade, trying her best to be just like JWoWW? It's the definition of must-see tv.

So think it over, MTV. Maybe not this season, but the next, for sure. And I could get a cut of the royalties, yeah?

Victoria Billings