No Babies Were Sacrificed In the Viewing of This Film

Oh yes, Internet. The long-awaited movie-going has come to pass, and as of last Thursday, I, accompanied by a small posse of younger boys, went to see "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World." For a full idea of general plot and actors and background, you can check my previous blog post on the subject. I refuse to recap that all. Lord knows my last post was too long.

Instead, I will provide you with an idea of whether or not the movie was good:

It was amazing! AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO CHOP ANYONE'S ARM OFF!

Excellent movie achieved!

You know that whole, "Oooh, it's sort of video-game-themed!" thing? Well, it turns out the entire movie was entirely set in a sort of video game alternate reality, complete with foes bursting into coins when defeated. The characters seemed at once blithely unaware of the weirdness, and at the same time, completely taken aback by it, like when Scott Pilgrim (main character) expresses shock that he must battle his new girlfriend's exes, and yet no surprise at the concept of battling through song. Or, you know, the fact that a "Pee Bar" appears when he uses the bathroom to show how much he needs to urinate.

I'm not sure if this would be useful or annoying. I guess it depends on whether someone was watching you pee.

My brother, who was a member of the gaggle of younger boys, had already been to see the movie once, and invited me to see it for the sole purpose of watching it again. And he said as he left the theater that he would like to see it once more before it comes out on DVD. Which is impressive, considering tickets now cost $10.50.

The movie does slow down a bit near the end, but overall, it's hilarious, with literally one laugh right after another, so much so that you run the risk of asphyxiating on your own laughter. I'm not going to say anymore a) because I don't want to give anything away, and b) because I want you to quit wasting time and GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

I mean it.

Go.

The American/Swedish Film Outrage

A little over a year ago, I was staying with some friends in France when a really fascinating movie came out. It was called, "Les Hommes qui n'amaient pas les femmes," or, in English, "The men who disliked women."

The French edition of the novel.

It was based on a Swedish novel, about a journalist-turned-detective convicted of libel, a murder that occurred forty years ago, and a tattooed and eccentric punk chick who helps him solve the mystery.

Tell me that doesn't look badass.

Perhaps the plot sounds familiar? In English, it's called "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and is the first in a trilogy based around Lisbeth Salander (the aforementioned punk chick, and the girl with the dragon tattoo, as you might have guessed). All three books were written by Stieg Larsson, who died somewhat mysteriously of heart issues shortly after turning in the manuscripts for all three books.

Now, the movie I saw was so good, I went out and bought the book soon after, and discovered that the movie had not only been done fabulously, and remained extremely faithful to the original story, but had also done nothing to spoil the novel for potential readers. Stieg Larsson writes with an amount of detailed research that reveals his journalist background, and with such an imagination that it's hard to predict what will happen on the next page.

The American edition of the novel.

But enough about my love of the books. The important thing here is the movie: All three books have now been transformed into movies, starring the talented and gorgeous Noomi Rapace as Salander. The first two movies have been released in the US, and are shown in indie theaters all across the country (there's one down my street doing a double feature, currently).

Noomi Rapace as Salander.

So I was shocked when I saw some announcement online saying that some girl named Rooney Mara would be playing Salander in a "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" movie.

"What?" I said. "They got the name wrong. It's Noomi. Rapace. And on top of that, it's not that she WILL BE. She already has! The movies have been filmed! They're brilliant!"

Upon reading the article, I discovered that Sony has decided to make their own American version of the film. Complete with American actors. Oh, sure, they'll keep it authentic. It's going to be filmed in Sweden. And the actors are supposed to have Swedish accents. But that's not the same as the real deal. The Swedish films were excellent pieces of work that payed great credit to the author, done in the original language. And this American film promises to be a blockbuster knock-off full of explosions and beautiful people. (I love you and your body, Daniel Craig, but no amount of lip pouting and smoldering on-screen gazes will make this better)

So here it is: I'm disappointed in Hollywood. All of Hollywood. I loved the movie. I loved the book. And I'm guessing this movie will make loads more money than the original did. And this new girl could be quite talented, but when it comes down to it, they're only taking attention away from the filmmakers that deserve it.